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I did not die.

If you have not read my post of 7th Sept 2010, do read it here, before going further.

Right now, I am typing from a remote little  village in Kerala, lying on the cool granite floor in my mom's cottage. I am surrounded by miles and miles of  lush green rubber forests. There is also silence, darkness, the sounds of crickets and  a myriad other insects chirping and the soothing sound of rain as it dances hesitatingly outside, like a shy maiden teasing you  with a gentle sway before she breaks out into a full-bodied frenzy of tantalising movements to seduce.

I am so glad I was able to make this trip. The last year and the year before last, I was living in  the UK  and it  was not possible to come to India. I had gone to a cathedral in Norwich and walked the cold English country side, all by myself, remembering him alone. But now, it's so much easier to come to Kerala, whenever I please, to be with my mum. My brother too has come here and it's just my mom, my brother and me. Just like the old times. Except dad of course.

It's been five whole years as of today. I still miss him like crazy.  Here it is even more intensely experienced--mostly because of  the memories this place holds.
Today we celebrated his spirit. We did all the things he loved to do. We walked on those very paths that he has walked a countless times. We talked about him lots. We went to the places he and mom used to go.

And we all felt he was with us, all along. He lives on in our hearts--stronger than ever. And the gift he left me was the gift of writing. And the love of thousands of readers like you. (I'd have never started the blog if he hadn't passed away. I had started writing only to get over the unbearable grief).

Say a prayer for him please. He was such an awesome guy, my dad.
___________________________________________________________

ps: I clicked a lot of pictures today. I wanted to remember this day forever.
I am sharing just one here (the very first pic I clicked this morning) because of very limited Internet connectivity. Watch out for a picture story in my next post :)



Comments

  1. May God bless his soul. The picture you clicked is amazing!

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  2. My Mother read your first book and she cried! She said she's never read anything as sweet as this! She doesn't read many english books, and your's was one of the first! She immediately mentioned - that "she writes very well"!!
    She mentioned that your dad is really lucky to have a daughter like you, and you were blessed to have a dad like him!
    I believe people continue to live on somewhere within us all! :) and I'm sure, wherever he is, he would be looking back at you very proudly!

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  3. So, you have visited "God's own country.. Kerala!!. Name the village please..?

    May God bless your Dad's soul!! Let him rest in peace.

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  4. I was about to send you a note on gmail and I saw this post. I thought about your dad and prayed for him today morning before coming to work. Him and I share a birthday so it's a special remembrance :). wishing all of you peace and happy memories.

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  5. You have a amazing time...

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  6. This was a lovely post. Yours is a family which is so filled with love & care for one another as should be. The memories of a departed family member may be poignant, but how you live in its spirit is also very significant.

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  7. May his soul rest in peace Preeti... he must be smiling now- looking over you :)

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  8. He must be standing proudly in heaven today looking at his beautiful family.

    was gonna write to ask where you were and saw this post.

    Lovely click

    --Seema

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  9. My prayers are with you,Preeti!

    Vidya

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  10. I did see your FB post yesterday so I said a prayer for you and your Dad in the morning ... hugs to you ..

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  11. One post for memories sake!
    Your dad will be very proud and happy to see you where you are. And his blessings will always be with you. That's how it works. He may be gone, but he continues to watch you from up above.
    Love,
    Naina

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  12. Memories never die! Am sure he's watching you from up above there and feeling prod for every bit you do, Preeti.

    Good day!
    -Durga

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  13. May his soul rest in peace! He continues to be and will always be with you. Just go on happily like he would have ever wanted you to do. My prayers for your lively father :)

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  14. hi preeti, truly heart touching post. I could really relate myself to those emotions which u have described... missing the loved ones at the particular place where u have spent a lot of time together!! U were truly lucky to have a dad like him! May his soul rest in peace.

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  15. Like it did last year, your post this year brought tears to my eyes.

    May God bless him and his family. I'm so glad you could make the trip.

    Moreover, I HAVE to say: this was brilliant writing. Very well nuanced. Like when the heart speaks through the pen (or keyboard!)

    AND stunning picture, that.

    Lots of love! xoxo

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  16. I thought about you & your family family yesterday. Stay well and my prayers.

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  17. Love to you Preeti...

    I can't imagine what it would feel like, but this post brought a knot within me...and I was just breathing in and out...

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  18. Prayers for his soul.. Let his soul rest in peace (of course it will be)...

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  19. May his soul RIP. I'm sure he'd be proud of what you are today:)

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  20. Will never forget Bhavu. He was just the best. Have a nice time in Kochi. My regards to Prem and Sullakka. TC.

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  21. Hi all!
    Thanks a ton to all of you who cared enough and took the time to leave me a comment on a post that obvioulsy means a lot to me! Truly value what you have said here. Much appreciate!
    I am not replying individually to this post, as all the replies would have said the same thing!

    With and gratitude
    Preeti

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  22. Saying a prayer for your Dad Preeti. He is a lucky man indeed to have a daughter who cherishes him so much. And he left u a legacy..... your love of writing.

    Hugs :))

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  23. Iam really touched Preeti... No words to say :)

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  24. Anonymous9:38 PM

    You are right he lives ! as soul never perishes! Silent prayers for him Preeti.

    With all love oozing out,
    Sam

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  25. the dead lives in the memory of the living....it sounded like the most perfect way to remember a loved one...with ur loved ones...

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  26. God bless his soul...i m sure he is watching all of u from up there.

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