Skip to main content

5 pointers for better friendships. How much can you interfere in a friend's life? #askpreeti

#Askpreeti  had been getting a phenomenal response. Every Thursday, you can ask me anything on my FB page, and I will blog my answer. You can scroll down and read the last two #askpreeti posts, one was on 'Ten things to do when someone does not love you back' and the other was 'How to become a better writer.'

Today I have picked reader Shubha Mallya's question on friendship.
We all love our friends. And yet there are times when we have to make difficult choices. How much should we interfere in a friend's life?  What if they tell you that they do not need your help? Is it wrong if we expect them to lean on us in their difficult times? What if they are  busy  when you need them?


Here are five things that help me when I have to make a decision about my friendships.

1. Respect their choices:  If your friend had told you  that this is what they have chosen because that is what works for them, accept it. You might be as close as siblings. You might be soul sisters. You might be brothers. You might be peas in a pod. You might be inseparable. But at the end of the day, you are two different individuals. You need to respect your friend's choices. If they do not need your help, accept it. Do not interfere till they want you to.


2.Give them space : If a friend needs some time by themselves, allow them that liberty. Do not stifle them by constantly hounding them on whatsapp or chaton or FB messenger. I know, you are supposed to do things together, and you are best pals. But hey, sometimes space is a good thing. It gives you time to think too. And allow your friend to miss you.

3.Nobody is that busy that they can't pick up your call or revert:  This is what I tweeted a few days back:

Nobody is that busy that they cannot take 3 minutes off to pick up the phone and call--or to send a message to say that you are in their thoughts. Nobody.
They may not revert instantly or immediately and that is fine! Nobody expects the other person to be at your beck and call. But if a person constantly is busy, get the message.



4.Your friend is different from you:  Your friend might mirror you in many ways---but he/she is indeed different from you. Take for instance deeply embedded attitudes like your attitude towards money, towards fitness, towards food---There will of course be differences. Every now and then there might arise friction because of this, especially when friendship is close. Sort this out as soon as it arises, as this can pose a danger to a great friendship.



5.Jealousy does exist in friendships: As much as your friend loves you, the ugly monster called jealousy is bound to creep in every now and then. This is what I had said about jealousy in one of my previous books:






Hope these pointers have given you a perspective when it comes to friendships.

If you like what you have just read, you will love my books. There is an underlying thread of strong and close friendships, which run through all of them.


 My new book 'It Happens for a Reason' will be out on December 10th. There are signed copies too, up for grab at great prices. Check the individual sites for terms.

 Buy the book!
Amazon: http://is.gd/Ithappensamazon
Flipkart: http://is.gd/Flipkartithappens

_____________________________________________________

Comments

  1. hello maam !! seriously it is too good appreciable.. so true .. every person need some space in his life.. they wil definitely get irritate if we repeatedly ask them questions. friendship means whenever we meet we talk lyk endless :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very true... friends are for lifetime not just for good times

    Amrit xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. thank you mam for writing this helpful post :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ma'am, That really was an awesome answer. Thank you for Sharing it with all of us here..!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hello Ma'm .. Thanks a lot for your wonderful reply and also for bringing back my friend :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous5:43 AM

    Lovely pointers, Preeti. We all need our space in life and moments like this can give friendship a fresh perspective:)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)


Popular posts from this blog

Daughters are so special. Post 3

Hello dear friend :)

This is my third post in this blog marathon. Those of you who are  here because of my Instagram post do hit subscribe that you see on top of this page, and you will receive my posts in your inbox.


Writing this like a letter, feels very nice. It is as though I am pulling up a chair, sitting down in front of you and having a chat with you. I read all your comments in my last two posts, and I have replied too! I think that is the nice part about blogging--that we can connect one-on-one, through our words.



Today, I went out with my daughter, and we had an amazing time.When she and I go out, I always drive my car and she plays her choice of music. It's a girls trip, and we cherish this time that we spend together. (you can see stories of our day on my Instagram handle)

I come from a family and background, where women never worked or drove a car. My mother has never worked, neither had my grandmother nor had my great-grandmother. None of my aunts-- either on my m…

A few books I LOVED reading this year. Post 13

Hello there,

It has been twelve whole days since I started my blog marathon. Time has sped by so fast. In fact, the whole year has sped by so fast. It feels like just yesterday that I was preparing my 'reading wall' which I do a the start of the year. I started this two years ago.
If you want to know what a reading wall is, clickHERE.

It's basically a list of books that I read the entire year.

Many of you have been asking me to recommend the 'best books'. I am reluctant to do so, because tastes vary. It is like  person asking me to  recommend what they should eat. The recommendation would  depend on whether they like South-Indian, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Japanese , Singaporean or any other specific cuisine. It would be meaningless to recommend Idlis to someone  who hates South Indian food.

This is the reason I do not recommend books. My tastes tend to be eclectic. What is outstanding for me might me egregious for you. So, unless I know the person very well, I …

A quick and easy DIY for clearing charger clutter. Post 4

Hello!

How are you doing today?

The one thing I dislike very much is clutter. Clutter bothers me, and messes with my mind. I am a huge fan of the Konmari method. If you do not know what that is, and you want to get rid of clutter in your life,  do read Marie Kondo's Life Changing Magic of Tidying. I highly recommend it.

Here's what I did today.



Neat, isn't it?

It isn't hard at all. I made it myself. This is how I did it.

Step 1: Find a suitable box. I used an amazon box.



Step 2: Make a neat slit in the side.



Step 3: Place your extenion plug inside the box, and take out the wires through the slit.


Step 4: Decorate the box! I used washi tape for the edges to make them neat.




And oh--I also made extra hole for the phone charger wires to come out.


Since that side is against the wall, I didn't bother to decorate it, as it is hidden.


I was mighty pleased with it. :)

Like it? Tell me in comments.
_____________________________
buy my books: http://preeti.io/amazon