Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Of clearing clutter in relationships and friendships.


 A few days ago, AOL coolage,  which is really popular with Indian colleges and universities, came over to my home and interviewed me.
Do watch the interview. (It is 7 minutes and 24 seconds long)  It's got footage of my home, my son and even my garden cat which sneaks in, when my dog isn't around :) I quite liked how Coolage has put it all together.
Here is the link: (Do watch and come back and  leave me a comment after you do)

http://videos.coolage.in/coolage/a-chat-with-the-best-selling-author-preeti-shenoy-518120723

Today's post is going to be on friendship. A little while back, I was chatting with a good friend of mine. She told me that she was going to cut out a certain person from her life, because she felt taken for granted, far too many times. My friend was there for her , through a bad time and had only been supportive. Yesterday, she made a very rude remark, about my friend, in front of all the office colleagues. Even though my friend told her that she was hurt, this person did not bother to apologise. My friend had given her far too many chances and one of her resolutions this year, was to not let anyone treat her badly. So she walked away, closed the chapter and moved on. My friend is glad that she sticks by it and it has improved her life dramatically.

I nodded in agreement because I knew exactly what she was talking about. I too have had my share of 'I-will-call-you-only-when-something-good-happens-to-me-I-don't much-care-about-what-happens-you'  kind of friends. Over a period of time, I have realised these kinds of friends aren't worth my time. I would rather spend it with the ones who are genuine and who care.

Mostly, when something fantastic happens to you, you can judge by the reactions of the people you share the news with, what they really feel about it. It is hard to fake happiness and enthusiasm. It is also hard to mask plain old jealousy.

Many a time, we make excuses for our friends.."Oh--maybe she was pre-occupied.. Oh maybe, he was too busy and will get back." Ask yourself, what the pattern has been in your friendship. Is this always the case? Do they get back when they said they will? Or do they get so caught up in their world that they forget all about you? Do they call only to talk about their successes, their problems? Or are they there to give you a patient ear? What is your gut feel? Are you happy about the way you are treated?

If you are, cherish the friendship, nurture it.

But if there is even a seed of doubt in your mind, rethink.

It is only when we clear clutter that positive energy flows--be it in your home, in your relationships or your life.

Focus only on that which makes you feel good, energised and positive about yourself.
Let go of the others. (It may be painful at first as nobody likes chnage, especially if the change shakes you out of your comfort zone)

Once you do this, you will be making place for more meaningful relationships.
 
_______________________________________________________________________

Buy my books in India
Buy my books outside India


9 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. True said Madam and we all have this kind of friend, sometimes we came across also the kind of friend, I-will-call-you-only-when-I-need-your-help-I-don't-care-much-about-your-hell-or-heaven.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just now watched the video. Nice home Mam and nice collection of Antiques you have. Well said about the TV and internet, if we sit infront of them really no value added work will happen

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well Said mam Many congratulations and good wishes for the success of The one you can not have have read all your books . loved them all . as well as this post is concerned this happened to me as well and every one 's story its all up to you how you deal with it need to be with those who brings best in you not with those who brings stress in you....Such people treats like you have done something wrong better to keep your self respect up by without telling them that you no more care ....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nice Post !!!! Loved your interview Preeti :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well said and a nice interview!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Regarding friendship, I would just say in this world there are all kinds and types of people, one-by-one as per the need of life we meet them, learn lessons (if not easy then hard way ) and gear us up for the tougher days.
    And you post Madam Preeti, it has made me re-think !!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Just now finishes reading "life is what you make it'...looking forward to read other books of yours

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have been reading your books and blog for long time but watched your video for first time. Loved it :)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)