Skip to main content

Of clearing clutter in relationships and friendships.


 A few days ago, AOL coolage,  which is really popular with Indian colleges and universities, came over to my home and interviewed me.
Do watch the interview. (It is 7 minutes and 24 seconds long)  It's got footage of my home, my son and even my garden cat which sneaks in, when my dog isn't around :) I quite liked how Coolage has put it all together.
Here is the link: (Do watch and come back and  leave me a comment after you do)

http://videos.coolage.in/coolage/a-chat-with-the-best-selling-author-preeti-shenoy-518120723

Today's post is going to be on friendship. A little while back, I was chatting with a good friend of mine. She told me that she was going to cut out a certain person from her life, because she felt taken for granted, far too many times. My friend was there for her , through a bad time and had only been supportive. Yesterday, she made a very rude remark, about my friend, in front of all the office colleagues. Even though my friend told her that she was hurt, this person did not bother to apologise. My friend had given her far too many chances and one of her resolutions this year, was to not let anyone treat her badly. So she walked away, closed the chapter and moved on. My friend is glad that she sticks by it and it has improved her life dramatically.

I nodded in agreement because I knew exactly what she was talking about. I too have had my share of 'I-will-call-you-only-when-something-good-happens-to-me-I-don't much-care-about-what-happens-you'  kind of friends. Over a period of time, I have realised these kinds of friends aren't worth my time. I would rather spend it with the ones who are genuine and who care.

Mostly, when something fantastic happens to you, you can judge by the reactions of the people you share the news with, what they really feel about it. It is hard to fake happiness and enthusiasm. It is also hard to mask plain old jealousy.

Many a time, we make excuses for our friends.."Oh--maybe she was pre-occupied.. Oh maybe, he was too busy and will get back." Ask yourself, what the pattern has been in your friendship. Is this always the case? Do they get back when they said they will? Or do they get so caught up in their world that they forget all about you? Do they call only to talk about their successes, their problems? Or are they there to give you a patient ear? What is your gut feel? Are you happy about the way you are treated?

If you are, cherish the friendship, nurture it.

But if there is even a seed of doubt in your mind, rethink.

It is only when we clear clutter that positive energy flows--be it in your home, in your relationships or your life.

Focus only on that which makes you feel good, energised and positive about yourself.
Let go of the others. (It may be painful at first as nobody likes chnage, especially if the change shakes you out of your comfort zone)

Once you do this, you will be making place for more meaningful relationships.
 
_______________________________________________________________________

Buy my books in India
Buy my books outside India


Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. True said Madam and we all have this kind of friend, sometimes we came across also the kind of friend, I-will-call-you-only-when-I-need-your-help-I-don't-care-much-about-your-hell-or-heaven.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just now watched the video. Nice home Mam and nice collection of Antiques you have. Well said about the TV and internet, if we sit infront of them really no value added work will happen

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well Said mam Many congratulations and good wishes for the success of The one you can not have have read all your books . loved them all . as well as this post is concerned this happened to me as well and every one 's story its all up to you how you deal with it need to be with those who brings best in you not with those who brings stress in you....Such people treats like you have done something wrong better to keep your self respect up by without telling them that you no more care ....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nice Post !!!! Loved your interview Preeti :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous5:58 PM

    Well said and a nice interview!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Regarding friendship, I would just say in this world there are all kinds and types of people, one-by-one as per the need of life we meet them, learn lessons (if not easy then hard way ) and gear us up for the tougher days.
    And you post Madam Preeti, it has made me re-think !!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Just now finishes reading "life is what you make it'...looking forward to read other books of yours

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have been reading your books and blog for long time but watched your video for first time. Loved it :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)


Popular posts from this blog

Why you are making a mistake if you don't speak up about #MeToo

The last few days have been tumultuous for everyone in urban India. If you are a working professional, or have worked at some point in your life, or if you strongly believe in gender equality,  it is hard to not get affected by the #Metoo movement. The #Metoo movement has taken off in India, like the  metaphorical snowball. I too, like many of you,  have been following closely, in shocked silence, as it has been unfolding. I can't tell you how happy I am that women in India, are standing up in solidarity, taking back their dignity.

Several  powerful men have been named.The stories have come POURING out.
I shall not go into details of the men named or the incidents here, as it is all over the media.

When something happens in your field of interest, it is natural that it affects you more than the incidents that happen in other fields. For me, what has been particularly disturbing was that the names from the field of literature that were coming out as well.

Earlier, in press in…

Re-store : A delightful little shop in Whitefield, Bangalore.

All of us are guilty, at least to some extent  of hoarding stuff. We hold on to old things--be it clothes, books, utensils, footwear, knick-knacks or some such, that form the minutiae of our daily lives. Many a time these add to the the clutter too. Rare is the home which looks like the above pic.


I am a huge fan of Marie Kondo, and I highly recommend her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up  which is more than just a book.

It is an entire philosophy, and a new approach. I read the book back to back, and immediately put into use the methods described in the book. I must tell you how wonderful I felt! I never thought that I could be that organised.

Clearing clutter, and the stuff that you no longer have use for, does release 'blocked energy.' There is no scientific or rational explanation for this. I only know that it works for me. Any Feng Shui practitioner and  loads of Eastern Schools of belief will confirm this.

I always make it a point to give away things I no longe…

5 easy and useful tips to help you achieve your goals.

Dreams are goals with a deadline. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. I am a huge believer of these two statements.

Many a time, I have been asked this question
'How do you do so many things? How do you focus on your goals? How are you so dedicated?'

Many have written to me asking me to share my routine/ time-management/how I organise my day. So here goes:

Currently I am doing a challenge called Intkober where you do 31 drawings in Ink, in 31 days. The prompts are given in advance. Click on the link to know more. Thousands of artists all over the world do it, each year. I post my drawings on myInstagram art handle.

This is in addition to my writing which I do daily. I also make a portrait every single day, apart from Inktober.

I guess, to most people who see this, it looks like a LOT of things and they wonder how I manage it. Here are five  things I do, which help me. (and I hope they help you too)

1. Define the goals.

At the beginning of each month, I write down (in a dia…