Thursday, October 25, 2012

What to do when life gives you a beating.

Dear You,
In life sometimes,everything will not go the way you planned.
You may not get that much coveted promotion even though you deserved it completely.
Someone you trusted with your life may let you down.
Someone you love(d) with all your heart may walk away.
You may lose a loved one.
Worse--you may lose yourself.

It is okay to mourn when this happens. It is okay to feel sad. It is okay to retreat into your shell when life gives you a beating.

But it is not okay to stay there for longer than is necessary.

It is important to come out and FIGHT.

It is important to live well. Do things that bring you joy.
 
Life is indeed short. very short.

Whatever did not work out, accept it. This was just the way it was meant to be.


You will see this for yourself, maybe two years from now. I know. I speak from experience and I speak from a place of deep pain. I have faced it--I have retreated , I have wept but then I have also fought and emerged stronger today, because of it.


Every bad experience makes you grow, teaches you something.


Keep your heart and mind open.

Love.
Express yourself.
Dance.
Listen to Music.
Do what makes you happy.

GROW.

(I know I did)

Wishing you luck and peace

And loads of laughter.

Until the next post.
With love

Me




 





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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Why time pass is more important than replying to mails

To an increasingly large number of people out there, (and this is especially true of the times we live in) an activity which does not generate income is viewed as 'time-pass'. (a word peculiar to Indian English, if it must really be classified or its origins clarified ).

Going by that definition, I love 'Time-pass'. I am happiest when I am doing time-pass. Except that I don't have much time to pass these days. In fact I have no time at all. Which must then explain why I am so unhappy ,in other words, stressed these days. It's all because of that elusive thing called time-pass.

Take the mails in my inbox for instance. They have piled up like mangoes on the push-cart by the road side during mango season, or the Sadhus at Kumbh mela on the banks of Ganges, or perhaps the tomatoes at La Tomatina held at the Valencian Spanish town of Bunol.  You get the picture. I wish I could just think up replies in my head and they get magically typed and sent. No such luck.

So I come here, writing  blog-posts.
 It is easier.

Because in my blog-posts I can talk about stuff that matters to me. Like Time-pass. Which I cannot do in my mails. Mails are usually from readers who tell me they love my writing. Make no mistake,   I  do feel very grateful to those who write in. I intend replying  immediately. But before I realise, certain other things (like writing my books and making portraits and cards and attending to numerous demands of motherhood (to a teen and pre-teen--need I say more?) and the even more numerous demands of running a home, not to mention single parenting, as spouse is travelling, apart from walking the dog and ensuring the dog doesn't get into mischief  ) have kidnapped my time and held it to ransom and yet another day has passed and guess what--more mails have piled up.

But I am not complaining. I love getting nice mails. It means that the person who has read my writing, has been moved enough to take out time (from their lives) and written to me. They have given me something which even money cannot buy--a few minutes of their lives. Put like that it sounds rather profound, for a simple mail, I know. But it matters you know.

It is these little things that give me great happiness.

Small little things like admiring a flower which bloomed in my garden. (see the picture--this bloomed today)

Or taking time off to play with my dog.





 Or reading a lovely book.


 


or making a birthday-card for one of my closest friends.

Happy birthday Jayu!





Or watching a nice movie.





Or walking on grass in my garden.





Or catching up with a friend over coffee.




All these are so important for me.

A very nice lady called Nischala, interviewed me today for her site. She asked me what is it I mean by living life to the fullest.

I told her that it is little things that matter most to me. Like the ones mentioned above.
The things many would call 'time-pass'.

It is so important you see, this 'time-pass'.
That is what makes life worthwhile.

Truly.

And now that I have explained, I am sure you will forgive me, if the replies to your mails get delayed.
I am doing 'time-pass', you see.

And yes, I will  definitely get back to you. Thank you for understanding, for the love and the patience. :)
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If you like my blog, you might enjoy my books :) Grab them here. (You don't need a credit card. You can pay cash on delivery) or if you are an Amazon Fan, you can grab them here

 And you can interact with me on my FB page. I always reply :)



Friday, October 12, 2012

A happy weekend giveaway. Three paper quilled cards.

It was in October 2006 that I started this blog. Today six years and seven hundred posts later, I am a published author of three best-selling books .

 What an amazing journey it has been for me. One part of my success is definitely attributed to my blog-readers. It was only the love that i got here, which encouraged me immensely. I have now met so many of you, made new friends and even those I haven't met, we have a  wonderful relationship, don't you think?

 As a thank you, to my readers I am giving away these three cards. (I do wish I could give one to all of you, but then I would have to make thousands!)
















Like I said before, I quill or make art, whenever I take a break from writing, Nothing gives me more happiness than sitting at my desk, creating stuff-- be it writing books, or making cards or painting. Here are three paper-quilled cards I made very recently.  They are fairly large in size (25 cms x 18 cms) and handmade paper has been used. They are blank inside and the designs are all completely original.
Did you like? :) For a chance to win these cards (3 winners will be picked) simply enter below and don't forget to leave me a comment too!


a Rafflecopter giveaway
 Happy weekend folks!

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If you like my blog, you might enjoy my books :) Grab them here. (You don't need a credit card. You can pay cash on delivery) or if you are an Amazon Fan, you can grab them here
 And you can interact with me on my FB page. I always reply :)


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Learn to say a firm NO



How many times have you heard the words  'It's nothing personal,' and then the person has gone on to be very personal?
How many times have you heard the words 'Don't mind but...' and then the person has told you something that really upset you?
How many times have you heard the words 'Don't get emotional...' and then the person goes on to attack you (for whatever reasons) verbally?

It happens to me many a time. I think it mostly happens to the 'nice people' (or so I like to believe). Chances are if you are helpful by nature, kind and sensitive, you get pushed around a lot.

If you allow people to pick on you, they will. The trick here is to be assertive, not aggressive. (and sometimes aggressive too if the situation demands) and yet keep your cool. I learnt how to do this only over the years, after dealing with a huge variety of people. The selfishness of some people and the complete two-faced nature, still shocks me. I have now politely learnt to say a no, whenever someone makes an unreasonable request. I have discovered that it is often the easiest and fastest way, to save yourself from a situation where you feel used.

Practise saying NO.

Most of us hesitate to say a no as there is an inherent need to be liked. We fear that by saying a no, we might be displeasing the other person. Most of us are conditioned to put others first and oblige and please others, in the name of being 'unselfish'. This is true especially if you are an Indian mother.

By learning to say no, you are not only creating more TIME in your life, but you are also easing yourself of situations that are going to cause you stress. By saying a no to things you really do not want to do, you are saying yes to the 'positive' things that life has to offer you. And do not worry about being disliked or unpopular. The ones who do not like you, will not suddenly change their minds and start liking you, just because you said a yes to their request. And the ones who like you will understand anyways.

When you say a no, be firm. Do not be apologetic, in your tone. Just say 'Sorry, I cannot do that. I have other commitments.'

After I have become a published author (and because I do interact a lot with my readers) I get unreasonable requests all the time. Initially they used to hassle me, but now I have learnt to manage them and stay calm. Wherever I can, I help and if I can't I just say a polite no.

It has made my life easier.
A small word, NO, but it can make big changes to your life.

Try it.
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photo credit: teresatrimm via photopin cc

 
If you like my blog, you might enjoy my books :) Grab them here. (You don't need a credit card. You can pay cash on delivery) or if you are an Amazon Fan, you can grab them here
 And you can interact with me on my FB page. I always reply :)


Thursday, October 04, 2012

Are you a prisoner of your thoughts?

This morning, I found this visual on FB (have no idea who the image belongs to, as it has gone viral)  that I shared:


I laughed in delight when I read it. How true this is.

Why in the world should one tolerate the 'time-wasters'? The older I get, the more picky I become about who I choose to spend my time with. (I had written a post on this here)

 "You are the average of five people you spend the most time with," said Jim Rohn , a motivational speaker.
If you want a superb analysis of this statement, I urge you to read this well written article.
I quote from the above article:
You may be the most conscious and smartest individual around, but if you are constantly surrounded by negative, fear-based people in your life, it will have an impact on who you eventually become and your progression in life. If you are heavily rooted in yourself, there might be a limited downside that negative friends can bring you. However, you are also getting a limited upside because you are spending time with people who are holding you back vs people who can be elevating you.

Does this advocate intolerance and selfishness? I do not think so.
I think we owe it to ourselves to give ourselves a chance to excel personally. If you are constantly pulled down by people who do not have as much courage as you, then it is going to be that much harder for you to break free.

We have to constantly strive to excel and push our own limits.

The moment we stop doing that, we stagnate.

What many of us do not also realise is that we are prisoners of our own thoughts. 
What is impossible?

Nothing really!

Watch this amazing video:




It is about a minute and sixteen seconds.

 I guarantee you will not fail to be moved.
 And inspired.

Go out there and give it your best! Chuck out the negative people--the doubters, the ones who get you down. Work hard towards where you want to be. And you will definitely achieve it.

You do deserve the best.

Now go grab it! _____________________________________________________________________

If you like my blog, you might enjoy my books :) Grab them here. (You don't need a credit card. You can pay cash on delivery) or if you are an Amazon Fan, you can grab them here
 And you can interact with me on my FB page. I always reply :)

Monday, October 01, 2012

What isnt love but feels like



What isn’t love but feels like.

There are these things I want to say
But I am afraid how you will interpret them
And whether I will ever find the right words
To express what isn’t love but feels like.

There are these things I want to do
But I am afraid how you will see them
And whether I will ever find the courage
To execute what isn’t love but feels like.

There are these pictures I want to paint
But I am afraid how they will reveal
My innermost self, my emotions
To portray what isn’t love but feels like.

There are these phone-calls I want to make
But I am afraid how they can ruin
A perfectly good relationship
To expose what isn’t love but feels like.

There are these poems I want to write
But I am afraid how the words once spilled onto paper
Will expressly in all their nudity
What isn’t love but feels like.


So I stuff my emotions back into my heart
Shut it, tie it with logic and reason
Stifle, strangle and choke it , hoping to kill
What isn’t love but feels like.



 © 2012 Preeti Shenoy
 

For more poems click here. Some poems have already appeared in print. Kindly do not reproduce without permission.
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If you like my blog, you might enjoy my books :) Grab them here. (You don't need a credit card. You can pay cash on delivery) or if you are an Amazon Fan, you can grab them here
 And you can interact with me on my FB page. I always reply :)